It's only 9 months... but it feels like Maternity...

Now Known As Postnatal Oppression

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

I think it's moving.

Either that, or my digestive system has started behaving very strangely and moving large lumps of undigested dinners and intestinal gases around at odd times, and giving them the odd shake for good measure. Seeing as I haven't needed to fart any extra, I'm putting it down to the evil alien spawn. As an experiment I played some Tchaikovsky to my stomach on Friday night and either the spawn or my chip butties seemed to enjoy it immensely. Or hated it - I suppose it could have been thrashing around in agonies screaming "Aaaargh! Turn it off!" but hey. It's my stomach, dude. You're not the boss of me. (Yet?)

I'm finding now that if I eat Anything At All, or need a wee, I have a rather round belly. And apparently everyone is now allowed to comment on whether I have got fat or not, and if I ever dare to breathe out or relax my stomach muscles for a microsecond there's another "Ooh, are you starting to show now? There's a bit of a bump there, oh yes," remark. I had no idea people were looking at my gut that much, but from the interest shown you'd think there was a bloody sweepstake going (if I find out there is, there's going to be trouble if I don't get a cut).


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